updates~

The meeting with Kent went really well. He gave me some really good direction. There are 2 more steps that I have lined up now as far as career and idea pitching. 1st on Monday June 2nd I have an interview at KCMS (spirit 105.3) for a sales position, and next week some time I will be meeing with Lisa Decker (the General Manager here at CBS radio) to talk about my idea. I had met previously with Becky Brenner who is the program director at KMPS, and she suggested this week that I meet with Lisa to talk about the possibility of KISS 106.1 being interested in streaming a positive alternative music station on their website. It would be under the KISS label, and who knows what kind fo buzz it may create. Also, maybe expanding the on air christian countdown that happens on sunday mornings to include more music, and more programming. We will see. KISS is without a Program director right now, so Lisa has the power to change things around if she wants. It's pretty amazing, and I am excited for the opportunity. I want so badly to be where God wants me, wherever that may be. Praise His name, he is leading me on!!!

Important meeting

I have a meeting today with Kent Phillips of Star 101.5. He is a radio guru. Here is a bit of info on him that I gathered from komonews.com:
Kent Phillips is a co-host of KOMO 4's live daily talk show Northwest Afternoon. Kent has been involved in radio and TV since age 14, starting as a night host on KZAM-FM in Seattle. He worked in Spokane and Portland before finally returning to Seattle at Star 101.5 radio as a morning co-host of the Kent and Alan show in 1986. The Kent and Alan show is the longest running morning show on one station in Seattle.Phillips worked for Public Television in Portland winning multiple SDX Awards for Outstanding Documentary Reporting. In 1991 he was co-host of KIRO-TV's Inside Line and has appeared in several television shows, including Knot's Landing.Phillips joined Northwest Afternoon in 1994 as a fill-in host for Cindi Rinehart's Soap Opera segment and joined the show as a co-host with Elisa Jaffe in 1996.Some of Kent's favorite interviews include guests from Jimmy Carter to Colin Powell to Donny Osmond. Favorite shows have included poignant programs such as reuniting transplant patients with donor families to fun shows, including wrestling to female sumo champions.Phillips has won multiple SDX and RTNDA Awards for News and Documentaries and the UPI National Award for Documentary reporting. He has been nominated for several Emmy's for Northwest Afternoon and won the Emmy for Non-News Talent in 1998 for a program on transplant patients and their families.Phillips is active in the community hosting dozens of events each year for charity. He has served on the Boards of Starlight Foundation, Habitat for Humanity, Bellevue Civic Theatre, Renton Civic Theatre, Eastside Christian School, Ballet Bellevue and is active as a lay leader in the Presbyterian Church.Free time is spent traveling with his wife Kelley and children Megan and Spencer. All of the family is involved in acting and can been seen acting in local plays throughout the year.Phillips was born in Baltimore, Maryland, but grew up in Bellevue, Washington. He is a graduate of Bellevue High, has a B.A. from Whitman College in Walla Walla, Washington and is slowly working on a Master's Certificate from Fuller Theological Seminary.

This is a long winded way of saying that it's pretty darn amazing that I, yes, I have an interview with him. I want to pitch to him my dream of starting a positive alternative radio station here in the Seattle area. I want his help, endorsement, advice, insight, etc. Anything and everything that he is willing to give to me. If nothing else, I want him to know who I am, and what I am trying to accomplish, in the off chance that he would meet someone else and tell them that he met someone who had a dream. I feel like Martin Luther King Jr. "I HAVE A DREAM!". For those of you that don't know what that dream fully entails, I will expand on it later.

I am nervous, excited, full of butterflys, and hopeful. Please pray for me that the meeting goes well today. I will give an update afterwards.

Sunshine~

I love the sun! It reminds me that I have been depressed for the past few months. But one day of good sun is strong enough to pull me out of my slump. My job is so awesome, that I have been able to go sit on the deck out back of our building whenever I want today because ihave a portable phone. I can still do my job, and soak up some rays at the same time. Speaking of which, I think I will go do just that here in a minute. I love air conditioning. I am so happy. I love the sun! Go out and enjoy! It will be fun.

hard thoughts

There is something that has been weighing on my mind lately that I feel like I need to share. This whole blog thing has been difficult for me because I desire to bare my soul but I always feel hesitant to truely show how I feel. I think a large part of it has to do with an experience that I had in junior high. My ninth grade class took a science exploration trip to Blakely Island. There were 9 students; 7 boys and 2 girls. On my birthday, the boys thought it would be funny to break into my room and steal my diary and read it. I had writted my personal thought about each boy, and went on and on about the boy that I had a cruch on. I guess after that it's not surprising that I have a hard time being fully honest on paper how I feel. I wish I knew how to overcome this feeling, and not fear what people would think of me or how they would react if I was able to be truely honest. I'm not saying that I have all these pent up horrible feeling about people, but there are things that I know would hurt people's feelings if I told them how I really feel.

So I stuff. Which ends up harming me more than it would if I would just speak up and tell people what I should. Once again, another vague argument that is shallow and conveluted, but none the less, still something that has been heavy on my heart. I wish I had the balls to be honest all the time. I wish I was brave enough to push past my own fear, and speak my mind then be able to seperate someone elses reactions from myself. I wish I did not stuff, but helped myself by truely communicating with others. Please dont' take this as a personal gripe, because this is not directred at anyone. It's just an inner conflict that I am trying to get out. Please comment on this, I really would like to interact with this one. Thanks for reading, and listening

greatfulness

I love Jesus. Plain and simple. Nothing can rob me of that. He is my King, my creator, my best friend and my Lord. There is no life that I could fathom living without Him. He carries me, sustains me, loves me, is close to me. I am so grateful for all He does, and how He partners with me in life. Thank you Jesus!

Miley Cyrus

I just found out that Miley Cyrus a.k.a. Hannah Montana created a myspace page that was separate from her normal fan music page. On it, she tells her fans what they can and cannot talk to her about, and portrays herself as a total snob. At first I thought that someone else must have created this page, cuz the Miley Cyrus that I know would never create something like this in fear of disappointing fans, and creating the kind of negative buss that it has been creating. I loved Miley. I took 2 of my junior high girls from my church youth group to go see her 3-D concert movie. It's not just that she seemed like a snob, it was the photos that she had posted on her page. She had sexy, half naked photos of her. The kind of photos that only she could have taken, and only she could have posted. This cemented for me the fact that this page was truly hers. The main reason I was so supportive of Miley was because the lyrics and messages that she sends to young girls is very uplifting and promoted positive self-image. I no longer feel like I can encourage the young girls that I know to admire and look up to Miley's example. I feel so disappointed. I can only hope that Miley's parents will do something about this. It seems to be to be a cry for something more....

Sad day...

Another Day

Something I have been learning lately (it always seems like there are a bigillion things that I am learning, but here is just one) is the importance of praying for one's spouse. Josh and I try to remember to pray together every morning, and every night. And I know that he is way better at remembering to pray for me, but when I do remember to pray for him, I can see the change almost instantly.
It amazes me when people can look me straight in the face and tell me that there is no God. We watched Ben Stein's movie EXPELLED on Sunday, and there were some agnostic scientists that claimed that science/nature led them to see that there was no God. It's nature that God created in order to lead us to Him! We have evidence of Intelligent Design all around us. And simply the beauty of nature leads me to a place of awe of our Creator.
I know that prayer works. I know that God loves us and wishes the best for all of us. I know this through His creation. I know this through my husband. I know, that I know, that I know that God loves us all.

I know that is random, and probably the worst arguement ever, but this thought is still jumbled in my head... I'll come back to this one.

Exactly!

From my friend Travis' blog....


There is so much talk "out there" on topics such as the emergent church, homosexuality in the church, drinking in the church, how to do church in today's culture, how not to do church in today's culture, and with all of this comes a lot of bitterness, finger pointing, religion, and legalism. I am tired of it, I'm tired of going from one blog to blog, news story to news story, reading about the things people see wrong in the church. Very seldom do I read about the good that the church is doing.It is easy to be jaded, but much harder to take the higher road and speak the truth of Jesus gracefully and unconditionally. It's easy to see the things we disagree with, with the Christian community, our own church, and our fellow believers. It's much more hard for us to challenge people when we see hypocrisy, well for some it's easy, it's hard to do it in grace and encouragement that Jesus would have (Now leave, and sin no more, the woman at the well).I believe we are obligated, as disciples, to encourage, with grace, the truth. The key is with grace, we seem to have forgotten what it means to give grace to people. We can not assume people will simply change their behavior, it takes graceful correction, reminding, retraining.The key is learning to send and receive correction, grace, and to listen to what God puts in our heart for that moment, not simply regurgitate something we have been told.

Grrrrr

Do you ever just walk around angry at people you don't even know? Like when you are driving, and somone pulls in front of you. Even though there was plenty of space behind you, this jerk decided to pull in front of you. YOU! Didn't he see all the other room? Didn't he know that you were there first?!?!?!

I serve at the front desk at CBS radio, and I see prize listeners come through the door all day long. I've only worked at this job for 2 1/2 months, but even in that short period of time, whenever a winner walks through that door, I automatically get a sinking feeling in my stomach. What attitude are they going to give me. How can I make their life miserable? It's like I enjoy enforcing the rules (especially on some people more than others), and get a little thrill about them not being happy with me enforcing the new rules.

I have been wondering why, these past few weeks, I get so upset over such little things. I can't seem to drive anywhere without having an inner dialogue of how competitive I am. Last week I labeled it as a lack of compassion. That's what I thought it was, but last night Pastor Lee labeled it as comtempt. He said that it was contempt for others that keeps us from being able to live pure lives. He described that God took him to a place where He showed him all the heads that he had up on his wall of contempt. This really struck a chord for me. It was one of the things that I nailed to the cross last night. It was contempt for people that I do not know, and automatically sterio type that has robbed me the ability to show God to everyone who walks through that door at work. It was contempt for other drivers that makes me feel like I am entitled to get upset.

So now that it's nailed to the cross, my reaction is 'what do I do now'. Josh kept telling me to stop using the word I when I try to fix things. MAN, THAT'S HARD! I automatically look at what I nailed to the cross, and try to figure out how I am going to get rid of it, or what I am going to change. I can't do it. I know this in my head, in theory, but in practice I am still lacking. It's strange to me that I will change simply because I was willing. I don't have to will anything to change, I just have to be available.

So this morning on my drive to work the argument that I have with other drivers was a little quieter, and a little more distant. The control freak in me wants me to figure out how I did thta, and try to keep it happening. But the Christian in me know's to shut up, and try not to screw it up. Just let God do it. Step out of the way, and be ok with recieving help. GOSH! I feel like I could cry.

Good weekend

Josh and I went to Ocean Shores this weekend. It's amazing how just getting away seems to remove all the junk that builds up over time. I'm not talking about removing the problems, but rather, setting the reset button on the patience meter. It's like dating again, where you are full of grace for the other person. I realize now how important it is to take a weekend, like once every other month, with your spouse, and get away from your familiar surrounds. It's fun. I love playing with my husband. He is so much fun. We get so busy though, that we lose sight of how important it is to play together. My step-mother-in-law often tells me that it is so important in a healthy marriage to play together, and to pray together. I used to have no problem with either, but I get into a routine, and forget about both.

Josh was teasing me this weekend about my need to plan everything. I know that if I could, I would lay out a minute by minute schedule of our day. I would then get so focused on "doing" that I forget about Josh. I love to plan. I love to accomplish things that I have planned. But the free spirit that is my husband loathes planning. He fights against it because for him, it sucks the fun out of EVERYTHING. I love that he has grace for my need to plan, but I need to have grace for his need to flow. I think the planner/controller in my really pulls Josh down. As a male, he has a need to be the leader, and I take that away from him when I start planning our lives. I know this is all very negative, and probably exaggerated, but in it's essence, true.

Ok, so stop planning/controlling, and let things roll. Let my husband thrive in the way that he leads, and enjoy being led by him. I can do that! I love you Josh.

So at church last night we had a guest speaker. He is the pastor of a church in Lake Stevens, WA. He was talking about hearing the voice of God. At first he was discribing ways in which we can hear the voice of God, and in my head I was thinking, "yeah, yeah, I've heard all this before" He talked about hearing God through visions, and dreams, and inaudible voice, and scripture, and music. I think that mentally I started to check out. Then he started to describe that God speaks through day dreams, and that peeked my interest. He then went on to describe a time when he was driving, and God gave him a vision. But this vision made reality dissapear. He said that he had to stop driving, and that there were 10 cars backed up behind him by the time the vision was over. Now I have had visions before, but none that took me out of reality. This pretty much boggled my mind. Then he said that he had heard God audible voice. Now I had heard of this happening in current times, but never as common place. He claimed to have heard God speak to him audibly 15 times. I honestly would love to hear the voice of God. I know that I have heard heaven before. There was no mistaking that. But to hear the voice of God! How mind blowing. The crazy thing is that this is stuff that as Christians we can walk in as common place. Our generation has a unique position of being able to build off of our parents spiritual learning, and take it to a new level. I know that prophesy is alive and well, and that God speaks to us, but imagine living a life where your thoughts are consumed with God thoughts. This pastor from Lake Stevens reminded me that this is a life that is possible to lead. A life where I can impact ANYONE around me just by listening to the voice of God and immediatly being obedient to follow through with anything that He wants to say to them. I think for me the fear of being wrong scares me. I don't want to drive someone away from Christ just because I mis-heard God. I don't know if you have ever had someone tell you that what you were hearing was not from the Lord, but it is crushing. It makes is really hard to be willing to try again. I have had that happen. But the Lord was faithful to help me overcome (if just for the moment) my fear and continue to speak what he wants. My desire is to get to the place where I hear, and immediatly obey, even if I am wrong. Cuz I know I will be. I want to hear the voice of God. I want to impact everyone I meet, however theLord wants me to. I want to be in constant communion with the Lord. I feel inspired to live this way. Lord, please let it not fade in my, or be overcome with fear, but to walk and talk boldly of You!

Word Processing

I find it interesting that some of the times with the greatest amount of growth in my life were times when I wrote things down. It helps me to digest, process, and retain what I have just experienced. I was just reading my friend Travis' blog, and was inspired to share my life. I know that God put me on this earth to be an example. He has already told me that I am to not hold anything about about my stuggles, achievements, failures, etc. because those are things that He took me through in order to teach me and others. So here I am, being obedient and opening my life to all.



Welcome to the rollecoaster. Get in, buckle down, and hang on!